Just some Ramblings today!

I really don't know what to write about today... I'm tired, have had a big morning out and am about to get ready to go back out this afternoon, and my head is hurting!

I am a real introvert so for me to spend a morning with friends for the girls to have a play date (as we did this morning) takes an enormous amount of, well, everything, out of me... I enjoy getting out of the house and seeing my friends and our kids all play really well together, but these mornings exhaust me.

This afternoon is Miss E's dance lesson though so we can't miss that! (Although one of my friends daughters from this morning also dances, so I still have to interact with people!). But, at least its broken up with watching the girls dance and talking to the other parents as well. I often start to wonder if perhaps I'm just not cut out to do anything socially...

But, I suspect its more than just that... my own stress levels according to other stuff happening in our lives impacts, as does the choice of company, the environment, the timing...

Last weeks visit to my uncles farm was TOTALLY different to this morning. That was a totally relaxing environment, people I feel absolutely comfortable with and take me as I am and still love me (ie my uncle and my brother!), the girls had an absolute ball and I really didn't need to supervise them or monitor everything they touched to see if they were picking up other kids food etc... Peaceful, quiet and calm...

Today, was at a friends house in town, 3 adults & 7 kids under 4, my friends that are very different to me and are on very different journeys in their life to me - although we do still get on quite well!, and of course there were lots of contraband food items around that I had ensure didn't go anywhere near Miss E and Miss G. Lots of noise and boisterousness... And I'm stressed about our housing situation!

So for me who is not totally comfortable with social outings anyway, I've realised just how much these factors make such a difference to my ability to cope with them without being overwhelmed.

I don't really know what to do about it though... I really can't stop going to these things completely as our fortnightly morning teas are the ONLY social interactions I have with people that aren't family or online and the girls really love catching up with their friends. Miss G is even starting to get more comfortable around the other kids (She is a lot like her mother and isn't a huge fan of crowds and noise!), and seeing as she isn't able to go to kindy until next year, I think its important for her to have these interactions.

And unfortunately, I can't only go when I'm not stressed about other things or feeling well rested etc! So I guess now that I've written this all down and have it a bit sorted in my head, I can approach these mornings in a different way - I can go into them knowing that they will have an impact on me, and be prepared for some quiet time leading up to and after the outings.

hmmm so my not knowing what to write has turned into a little psych analysis of why i'm so darned exhausted after this morning! But at least I have delved into why, and now that its written down, it makes so much more sense to me and hopefully it will help me cope that much better in the future! Its something that has always been just below the surface of my concious - I knew anything social exhausted me but hadn't really thought too much about it...

What does this have to do with food... ummmm... it was morning tea? LOL And I guess the hypervigilance of keeping an eye on the food around my girls... Well, its a stretch but you can connect to food if you really need to :D

So there you have it... a post that was totally unplanned and one I thought would be small has evolved into something very different!