More musings...

You know, I've been thinking more and more today (seeing as its still a relatively good day!) and I've pinpointed some very specific things that do in fact improve our days...

1. Not to engage in the emotional *discussions* at meal times - the rules are simple, we must eat our meals before we leave the table. Until now, there had always been some degree of *discussion* taking place at meal times - bargaining over each and every meal. I was very caught up in the emotions of needing my children to eat for their health, growth, development etc, and I do believe that they saw this *need* in me and it was something they weren't sure how to deal with... I don't really have anything else that invokes these same emotions in me, so this would have been very different to the Mum they were used to. So, over the weekend we decided (as we had some months ago, but the situation improved and we kind of forgot about it) that from now on there will be no discussing or arguing or pleading. The rule is simple - we sit down and eat our meals before we leave the table. End of story. Yes, if the children aren't well or there is something else going on (ie a chemical reaction), I may alter the amount that I require them to eat, but for normal run of the mill type days, the rule applies. I may still be as emotional over meal times, but by not engaging in any discussions on the topic, I can keep those emotions to myself.

2. No more preparing 2 or 3 meals until the child is happy - yes, in my desperation to have the girls eat, they would sometimes demand something else and something else and something else... and I would go and prepare it. Well, if its a meal that I know they do like and have eaten recently, they will be expected to eat. I am absolutely prepared to make something else if we are introducing them to something they haven't had before or something I have made a little differently - I know they (Miss E in particular) have very distinct preferences for foods and textures, so if I am dishing up something different I am most happy to also have something that they will eat on standby. But a vast amount of time has been spent preparing several meals at each meal time and my time is far better spent interacting in a more positive way with the girls than preparing multiple meals.

3. Spending some time together doing something *fun* every day - Emma is always asking to do something *exciting* and when I make the time to ensure that even half an hour a day is spent on the floor with the girls doing something they want to do, the mood of the house is always much better. I may be a little behind in some of my jobs, but the girls do then tend to play a little better (for a short period of time at least) so I cam be more efficient as I'm not trying to play with them, help with conflict resolution and do my own things...

4. Spend some time outside every day - this is probably the trickiest one for us at the moment... The neighbours that would sit outside and smoke for hours on end have gone, but in their place we have a neighbour who is renovating and so we are now often being trapped inside to escape the paint and glue fumes that waft into our yard. We also haven't really been able to go out anywhere since May due to the girls being quite unwell. But, both girls are now reasonbley healthy, so on the days that we don't have anything planned, and are unable to go outside due to whatever our neighbours may be doing, I will try to arrange for a trip to a park or similar. Again, this will take time away from my chores, but hopefully will invoke the same degree of self-directed play and a sense of serenity over us all that my efficiency will improve.

Yesterday really was a horrible day and unfortunately I'm a little slow on the uptake and it takes a really bad day for me to sit down and re-assess what is happening, where we are at and look at solutions. But, doing so really is quite uplifting and today I do feel so much more energised and able to cope.

Now I just need to work on getting to this point BEFORE a really horrible day occurs...